The Druggist's Prayer

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A typical pharmacist in his shop.

The idea for this came when Anna Linden & I were taking our morning prescription remedies and out came "Give us this day our daily drugs." From there it appeared like a simple task to complete this parody of the Anglican Lord's Prayer but it took far longer that anticipated as I had to track down the most popular prescription drugs of recent years, sort them by disease (as I wanted the list to be widely representational) and read up on all the likely candidates on Wikipedia to make sure I had the best exemplars.

While studying the list it became clear that NONE of these drugs is a cure. Almost every commercial drug is designed to control the symptoms of the disease and to keep you buying that drug forever. Clearly it is not in the interests of a profitable drug company to provide a cure. That would mean customers would stop buying their product!

Our pharmacist who art in the main street:
Praised be thy name.
Thy remedies come, thy pills be taken,
At breakfast time and throughout the day.

Give us this day our daily levothyroxine1
and provide us our rosuvastatin2
as we consume also our perindopril3 and esomeprazole4,
salbutamol5, adalimumab6,
quetiapine7 and metformin8.

For thine is the treatment,
but not the prophylactic, nor the cure,
not now and not ever.


Warren Mars - September 2015

  1. levothyroxine is a synthetic thyroid hormone used to treat hypothyroid conditions. It is branded under many names including: "Synthroid", "Levoxyl", "Thyrax" and "Eltroxin".
  2. rosuvastatin is cholesterol lowering drug. It is marketed as "Crestor".
  3. perindopril is a long-acting ACE inhibitor used to treat high blood pressure. It is marketed under the names "Coversyl" and "Aceon".
  4. esomeprazole is a proton pump inhibitor used to treat GERD. It is marketed under the name "Nexium" among others.
  5. salbutamol is an adrenergic receptor agonist used for the relief of bronchospasm in conditions such as asthma. It is marketed as "Ventolin" among other names.
  6. adalimumab is a TNF inhibiting anti-inflammatory drug used to treat arthritis. It is marketed under the names "Humira" and "Exemptia".
  7. quetiapine is an antipsychotic used to treat various nervous disorders. It is marketed as "Seroquel".
  8. metformin is a glucose production suppressant used to treat diabetes. It is marketed under the tradename "Glucophage".