I was sitting in front of the TV watching the last game of the 2014 home and away season between my team: Essendon and their opponents: Carlton, when it suddenly struck me that Essendon's team contained an unusually large number of players with surnames beginning with "H", to whit: Dyson Heppell, Michael Hibberd, Michael Hurley, Cale Hooker, Heath Hocking & Ben Howlett. 6 "H"s in a team of 22 is highly unlikely! They were all fine players too and all first choices in the starting lineup that year. I heard the last line of one of these verses in my head and it was a straight forward job to write the rest.
Kyle Hardingham and Will Hams were also on the senior list but they weren't in the preferred starting lineup that year.
An AFL club in twenty fourteen
Boasted more aitches than I'd ever seen.
Amongst that fine team that were rolling and rocking
Were Hooker, Heppell, Hurley and Hocking.
Essendon sparkled and Essendon shone
And the fans they packed in from hither and yon,
To carouse and to barrack like Furlong and Jeppel,
At Hibberd, Hocking, Hooker and Heppell.
Out of the pack like a bullet from hell,
With handball as clean as the ring of a bell,
While all their opponents tripped over and gibbered,
Came Hocking, Howlett, Heppell and Hibberd.
When the ball was won by the opposite side,
Who threatened to score and turn back the tide.
Who held their nerve in that great pressure cooker?
Twas Hurley, Hibberd, Howlett and Hooker.
With tackles applied by that red and black band
The ball it spilled free and was taken in hand
And into attack, intense as an owlet,
Went Heppell, Hooker, Hurley and Howlett.
While the bungling ASADA still toys with their crime,
I wonder while facing an uncertain time:
Was there ever a group as resilient and burly
As Howlett, Hibberd, Hocking and Hurley?
Warren Mars - August 2014