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Some of the toys referred to in this poem: The Golliwog, Moomintroll, Bunny and Crissy.

Written for my mother on the occasion of her 85th birthday. It mentions all of the toys that we could remember from my childhood, not only mine but those of my brother and two sisters as well. My brother: Robin and I shared a room and my sisters: Alison & Lucy also shared a room. The poem is thus in two parts: the boys' room and the girls' room.

Like "Toy Story" and "Johnson and Friends" it deals with the private life of toys; the things they do and talk about when their owners are not around. Also like Toy Story it deals with the sad fate of toys which is to be discarded when their owners move on to more adult pursuits. Somehow the toys become imbued with charming innocence of the children themselves and in special cases with the child's love as well. It is sad to see that thrown in the bin but that is the fate of all of us in the end...

In many cases the names and visual appearance of all the toys of my childhood are not known outside my immediate family so I have added extensive notes to enable you to understand all the references in the poem. Some toys are commercial and well known, others are custom made or rare. Nevertheless, toys are toys and you will be able to simply substitute your own and imagine the scene.

Wooly Fish¹ lay at his place on the bed
and pondered the thoughts that ran through his head.
His flanks were as blue as the sky up above
and his eyes were full of wonder and love.
"I could have been a whale you know.",
he said to the King² observing the show,
"but they said that my spouting would make too much mess,
so this is the best shape for me, I would guess."

A snort came loud from across the divide,
as Golliwog³ gestured and spoke out with pride.
His jacket was red and his trousers were neat.
He was quite the handsomest toy you could meet.
"You've as much chance of spouting, my stuffed piscine mate,
as yon toad⁴ has of flying or learning to skate."
"Hey!", said the toad in his paisleyan coat,
"My boundaries are not for you to denote!"

The Pirate⁵ gazed down from his place on the head⁶
at the kangaroo skin⁷ on the lino outspread.
"What do you think young Moomin⁸?", he asked,
"Must the dreams of a toy with reality be tasked?"
"Not mine!", said the Moomin in beige corduroy,
"but why not ask Teddy⁹, he predates this toy."
"Older than all." brown Teddy replied.
"Certainly older than Frankie¹⁰!", he sighed.

Gumby¹¹ held Pokey, his trusty sidekick,
as he stared at the Lego¹² box spacious and thick,
"Where are the horses¹³?", he gently enquired,
"They were always so trusty, so smoothly attired."
"They're outmoded," said Rock¹⁴ from over the back,
"by Matchbox¹⁵ cars and Hotwheels¹⁶ track."
The Hattifatteners¹⁷ said nought, one and all
but eerie blue sparks slowly ran down the wall.

--

Koala¹⁸ lay thinking, her paw on her chin:
"I'm small and I'm bald¹⁹ but at least I've got skin."
She looked up at Humpty²⁰ who gave her a wink.
"You're life is still better than Fluffball's²¹ I think!"
"Our owner is crazy", sighed Crissy²² who cursed:
"She cut my hair too but she melted²³ it first!"
"I was, please believe me, when I was brand new",
said Koala, "the cutest in all of this zoo."

"Nonsense!" said Bunny²⁴ from over the gap,
"I was chewed on til nothing was left but a scrap".
"You've never seen a love so displayed;
My owner screamed endlessly were I mislaid."
"So I've heard." said the egg-shaped, flaxen-haired girl²⁵,
as she pulled on a lock and gave it a twirl."
"My reason for life!", said the corduroy cat²⁶,
"and now I'm a rabbit. So how about that!"

The green-yellow fish²⁷ flopped around on the floor.
"Give us a tune. This topic's a bore."
So the tigers²⁸ launched forth with their favourite deed
and the pink dogs²⁹ soon followed with Brahms' Wiegenlied³⁰.
"Me too!" said the jewellery box³¹, out of a dream,
and calmly reeled off Lara's Theme³².
The toy clock³³ said "Bravo!", it's hands turned around
and the wood blocks³⁴ applauded from in the background.

The doll's house³⁵ stood silent amid the commotion,
mute witness unto a father's devotion.
Behind it the storefront³⁶, where people could buy
and the teaset³⁷ for dolls who were hungry and dry.
But the toys were uneasy, how long could it be,
til the children's sweet joys were replaced by TV³⁸,
Til the kind hobby horses³⁹ were left in the stalls
and posters of ABBA⁴⁰ would plaster the walls?




Warren Mars - September 2021

---

1. Wooly Fish was my favourite stuffed toy. It was a simple furry fish about 10" long.
2. The King was a stuffed Humpty-Dumpty about a foot high with a golden crown and a red cape. Mum made it for me one Christmas, along variations on the theme for my other siblings.
3. Robin owned a Golliwog. Golliwogs are now deemed a disgusting racist caricature but I think they look fantastic! I can see the politically correct side of the argument but to destroy a classic image and toy for any reason is throwing the baby out with the bath water. These people need to see the toy without all the racist imagery as a child does. Maybe then they can just love the toy?
4. Robin and I both did a bit of sewing as children and he made a stuffed toad about a foot long with a calico bottom and a maroon paisley print top.
5. Robin was given a Pirate Humpty-Dumpty when I got my King. They both sat on top of our bed heads which had shelves.
6. Bedhead.
7. Robin saved up all his pocket money for years and then went to town to buy something really great. He came back with a small furry kangaroo skin. Go figure...
8. We all grew up with mum reading us Tove Jansson's famous Moomin books. Dad made me the small stuffed Moomintroll that you can see at the top of this page. I still have him.
9. Almost everyone has a teddy. Either myself or my brother owned the one referred to here but he disappeared quite early on.
10. Frankie was a cool stuffed beagle. He lay on his back with one knee up. He was floppy and casual and ended up on my father's bedhead.
11. Gumby and Pokey were popular in the 1960s and I was given the pair. Even today Gumby is just magic and instantly iconic! You can watch some of the original animation here.
12. What child doesn't have some Lego? My brother was very keen on it and kept his collection in a large white box.
13. Very early on my father made a pair of small, simple, stylised, stuffed horses for my brother and me out of matching check fabric, one cyan and one red. They were possibly the oldest of all the toys.
14. I made a small pillow as a child and embroidered it with a cartoon dinosaur. I stuffed it with rags and underpants and it was hard as a rock, hence the name.
15. My favourite toys to play with as a boy were Matchbox Superfast cars. They were just as fast and better quality than the Hotwheels cars at the time (1970) and I had quite a collection. For some reason the fastest one was ALWAYS the Beach Buggy. Go figure...
16. Of course cars are no fun to race without a track and I gradually acquired more and more Hotwheels track until I had enough to run all the way down our house's passage. My friends and I had many hours of fun racing our cars on that track. We wanted them to go REALLY fast so we used to run the track up to the top of a door and climb up on a chair to launch them.
17. The Hattifatteners were characters out of the Moomin books and Robin sewed some up out of calico and used pipe cleaners for their hands. Hattifatteners are electric and they give people shocks and create sparks when disturbed.
18. Lucy's special stuffed toy was her koala which was made with real skin and fur, possibly from a real koala...
19. For some reason she shaved it and wrote on it with biro. Go figure...
20. The third of the Humpty-Dumptys made by mum.
21. An orange furry ball with feet that made a clunk when it was rolled over.
22. The famous Crissy doll with long hair that you could pull out and retract.
23. Lucy and Alison both had Crissy dolls but Lucy left hers too close to the heater and accidentally melted its nylon hair which she then cut off.
24. My sister Alison was very attached to her toy "Bunny". She held it, chewed on it and howled the place done if it were mislaid until it was found.
25. Alison's Humpty was a pretty blonde haired girl with hearts for eyes.
26. So great was Alison attachment to her Bunny that mum made her a square shaped corduroy cat with floppy ears which Alison called "Funny Bunny".
27. My father made a stuffed green and yellow fish for us that became a general toy rather than any particular child's.
28. Our Grandmother bought my sisters each a mother and child animal pair attached by a cord with a pull-out wind-up mechanism and a music box movement. The cord retracted and the child came back to its mother while the tune played. Alison had a mother tiger with its cub.
29. Lucy's pull out pair were a mother dog and her pup, both were pink.
30. Lucy's dogs played Brahms' famous lullaby.
31. My sisters also had a pair of red musical jewellery boxes with mirrors and a ballerina movement that sprang up and turned when the lid was opened.
32. Lucy's musical box played Lara's Theme from Dr Zhivago, (Somewhere My Love").
33. Another general toy we owned was a wooden clock which was made from blocks that one could assemble and break apart. The clock face could be assembled in different ways and the numbers could be removed and replaced and the hands could be turned. It was a good way to learn about numbers and telling the time.
34. We also owned a set of children's wood blocks that were various colours and shapes and it was a lot of fun as a child making things with them.
35. Dad went to a lot of trouble to make my sisters a large dolls' house with removable walls and 4 rooms. Each room was meticulously decorated, furnished and carpeted. Alas the toy did not see much play.
36. Dad also made a shop counter for my sisters so that they could play shops. Again, sadly, it was under utilised.
37. Girls' toy teasets were very popular in those days and my sisters had at least one of them.
38. As the 70s drew to a close my sisters were growing out of their child's toys and once they got their own TV that was pretty much the end of it.
39. Hobby horses used to be a wonderful cheap toy, basically just a wooden horse's head on a stick, where a child could imagine riding a real horse and they would gallop up and down the house or street astride the stick. With the removal of horses from popular culture you don't see them anymore. Sad really as they were very popular for hundreds of years.
40. As my sisters became teenagers the toys were put away and they played pop music on their gramophone and watched TV instead. ABBA were the top of the charts at the time in Melbourne and their walls were covered with posters of them which appeared in TV Week. Also posters of Skyhooks and Sherbet who were popular in Australia at the time. You can just substitute whatever teen idol is popular today to get the same effect.