What is that thing behind the clipboard?
Here is a parody on the excellent Dr Seuss' marvellous work: "Green Eggs and Ham".
The fact that I have turned his signature rhyme into a crude piece of smut is not an insult; quite the reverse, it is an homage by a devoted fan. You can tell that I am devoted fan by my clean piece "Anapaestic Tetrameter". Not every famous poet has his work turned so perfectly to smut. It really is quite an honour. If someone does the same thing to me after I am gone I shall be well pleased!
This parody originally had a different title, using the word "knob", but as I began preparing it for publication I saw that the greatest impact would be achieved with the word "cock". The only suitable name that rhymes with this is "Spock" and hence the title. Dr Benjamin Spock was once very famous, but his star has faded, whilst that of Mr Spock the Vulcan remains strong. Not only that, but the iconic Star-Trek character, to most people, appears a far more sexy prospect that the erstwhile pediatrician from another age.
Star-Trek fans should consider this an honour for the same reason as Dr Seuss fans. Even taken at face value this poem honours the power and effectiveness of Spock's reproductive organ as it does his persistence in pursuing his goal. As for Lt. Uhura she is also honoured: being represented as desirable, not sexually limited and neither a slut nor frigid.
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That Mr Spock! That Mr Spock! I do not like that Mr Spock! |
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Do you like my throbbing cock? |
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I do not like it Mr Spock. I do not like your throbbing cock. |
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Would you like it up your quim? |
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I would not like it up my quim. I would not like it to the brim. I do not like it Mr Spock. I do not like your throbbing cock. |
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Would you like to suck it hard? |
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I would not like to suck it hard. I would not like it by the yard. I would not like it up my quim. I would not like it to the brim. I do not like it Mr Spock. I do not like your throbbing cock. |
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Would you like it up your bum? Would you like to make it cum? |
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Not up my bum. Not to make cum. Not to suck hard. Not by the yard. I would not like it up my quim. I would not like it to the brim. I do not like it Mr Spock. I do not like your throbbing cock. |
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Would you? Could you? With you hand? Pull it! Tug it! Squeeze my gland! |
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I would not, could not, with my hand. |
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You may like it. You will own. You may like it on the phone. |
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I would not, could not, on the phone. Not with my hand! Leave me alone! I would not like it up my bum. I would not like to make it cum. I would not like to suck it hard. I would not like it by the yard. I would not like it up my quim. I would not like it to the brim. I do not like it Mr Spock. I do not like your throbbing cock. |
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Perhaps you'd like to take a stroll. Would you in a baby-doll? |
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Not like a doll! Not on the phone! Not with my hand! Leave me alone! I would not like it up my bum. I would not like to make it cum. I would not like to suck it hard. I would not like it by the yard. I would not like it up my quim. I would not like it to the brim. I do not like it Mr Spock. I do not like your throbbing cock. |
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Say! In the dungeon? I could make you strip! Would you, could you, with a whip? |
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I would not, could not, with a whip. |
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Would you, could you, play the moll? |
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I would not, could not, play the moll. Not with a whip, or a baby-doll. Not with my hand, not on the phone. Why won't you just leave me alone? Not up my bum. Not to suck hard. Not to make cum. Not by the yard. I do not want it up my quim. I do not want it to the brim. |
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You do not like my throbbing cock? |
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I do not like it Mr Spock. |
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Could you, would you, with some lube? |
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I would not, could not, with some lube! |
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Would you, could you, on your boob? |
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I could not, would not, on my boob. I will not, will not, with some lube. I will not play the horny moll, I will not wear your baby-doll. Not with a whip! Not on the phone! Not with my hand! Leave me alone! I do not want it up my bum. I do not want to make it cum. I do not want to suck it hard. I do not want it by the yard. I will not have it up my quim. I would not like it to the brim. I do not like your throbbing cock. I do not like it Mr Spock. |
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You do not like it. So you say. Try it! Try it! And you may. Try it and you may, I say. |
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All right! If you will let me be, I will try it. You will see. |
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Hey! I like your throbbing cock! I do! I like it, Mr Spock! And I would like it with some lube. And I would like it on my boob. And I will play the horny moll. And with a whip and baby-doll. And with my hand and on the phone. It is so good, so good, I own! So I will have it up my bum. And I would like it to make it cum. And I will strive to suck it hard. And I will take it by the yard. And I will love it up my quim. And I will love it to the brim. I do so like your throbbing cock. Thank you! Thank you, Mr Spock! |
Warren Mars (a parody on Dr Seuss) - October-November, 2009