"Bouncing Balls" - Deborah Dillehay
It is one thing to reject thought control from outside oneself, and rightly so, but more insidious is the internal thought control that we all exercise on a daily basis. Things you don't want to think about, things you don't want to know about. Especially things about about yourself. It takes courage to look at everything inside yourself, but it's worth it, since when you do finally plumb the depths of your being you acquire a confidence based on certainty; a real understanding of yourself, an interest in others and belief in the fundamental humanity of our species.
You also are able to think more efficiently once the mental blocks are gone, which enables one to conceive thoughts that would have previously been beyond one.
Roaring, soaring, rumbling in my head,
My thoughts resound.
Expanding and demanding they bounce,
With boldness in the turgid theatre of my mind.
Great bouncing balls of thought,
I welcome them as one.
I let them swell and roar as they will,
But not afraid they'll overwhelm.
For I am master of my mind.
I am not afraid of my thoughts,
No matter their magnitude or strangeness.
I go with the flow.
In faith that my soul will stay true!
Incorruptible, unchangeable, unshakeable to the end.
But there are some who's paths I do eschew;
Of delusory self glorification,
And denial of another's soul.
To project a corruption of the truth,
Onto the truth,
For the sake of titillation.
There is sickness and perversion!
There I will not go.
I do not like the feel.
But give me the adventure of clean thought.
The cold wind of truth,
That blows away the dross and cloistered stench
Of decay and dull routine.
That overturns established order,
And brings about change when all seems set.
That factor of surprise,
That restores my faith in life.
Yes I love the movement and the feel
Of roaring thoughts.
I love the power that they hold,
And the purity within.
I rejoice to hold my own with them,
These roaring thoughts.
To let them surge and break,
Against the bulwark of my brain.
I rejoice that I am free;
To go with them where're they will,
And still be clean and true enough inside,
To be proud,
Of these:
My roaring thoughts.
Warren Mars - July 2001