Grendel in his wizard phase, about to take the plunge. (click for full size)
See there: The world of science! Dazzling in its complexity and power. Built by the best minds the human race could muster over thousands of years. Founded on the rock of reality. But is it a rock? The more you prod it the less certain it becomes. Eventually you are left with nothing!
Nothing! Emptiness! The Quantum Vacuum! Nirvana! The quiet space behind all things. The only true reality. The domain of the enlightened mind. The sad revelation of solipsism. The boring land from which I escaped. Don't send me back there! At least, not in this form.
Hallucinogenic drugs: The gateway to the supernatural. I one-hit bongs and dropped acid; as much as I could get. For one night, almost I ruled the world! I controlled the horses and multiplied my winnings. I saw the oneness of all things. For a brief time the mask fell away. A swirling vortex of colour and identity: The summit!
The next day, clad in my wizard's cloak with my trusty blanket for company I climbed the mystic edifice. Hanging Rock! My followers dropped away as I approached the metaphysical peak. One by one they balked at the light. They were not ready for such a trial...
Observe: Alone I stood in front of the hole in the world that led I knew not where... A convenient diameter. I could brace my back and ease down with my legs. There was never a doubt. Unlike the weak, I was unquestioningly committed and delayed not in climbing down into the unknown. The chimney was deep... and once I slipped... but I was saved by my blanket that held firm to the metaphysical foundation. On the one hand: the rock of reality. On the other: the vector of exploration. In between: The blanket of security. Somewhere in that inter-dimensional confluence I had a friend! Finally the chimney ran out and I gazed down at the ground below. How far? A meter, 5 meters, 20 meters? ... I could not say.
A leap of faith... "It has all come down to this!" I could not climb back and so I took the drop and crossed between the worlds.
Lost are we: the living embodiments of the infinite light,
Unknowing, unconscious, uncontestable scions of the truth.
Meandering and mistaking our path through the maya,
Forgetting our footing: the foundation of reality.
Devoid of understanding, we delve into the dross,
Heads buried in hogwash, helpless to discern the transcendent.
Until at last: the lambent radiance strikes our listless souls,
Rings the bell of recognition and for a moment, restrains the spell.
The new world was strange. Ostensibly the same but subtly different. My friends were gone.
I was burdened with esoteric knowledge. I slept through most of the day and came alive at night. I studied the arcane works of the occult. I was a creature apart. A sapient entity treading the noble path of the wizard. I continued the drugs. I walked the midnight streets for hours every night. I explored the innermost reaches of my consciousness. There was nowhere I wouldn't go. No idea I wouldn't entertain. Was I truly MAD? No! Not me! The great mind of Grendel! It can't be!
I hitch-hiked to the farthest limit of the continent. Perhaps there I would find my path... Interesting and fun perhaps but there was no epiphany. The whole insane edifice fell apart with the ironic and sad cigarette trip. Hilarious in retrospect! LSD was mined out. I rediscovered the joy of guitar and went back home.
There was no future in the occult. Perhaps it was all bunk! I looked around at the mess that my life had become and was ashamed. Grendel the Great brought low... I had been unable to explain my revelations with science and had consequently been seduced by the lures of magic and religion. Like so many others across space and time I had stood at the borders of sanity and been enticed by the great unknown. Fortunately for me I had been held safe by a single blessed thread.
The experiment with reality was done!