9 To 5

9 To 5

Once you were a superhero, now you're taking shit from idiots and arseholes.

At various times in my life I have worked 9 to 5 in a big city and the memory of that deadening routine is forever etched in my brain: Up at 6:30, breakfast, walk to the station, train to work, (or drive in peak hour), labour for the company all morning, lunch with workmates, more drudgery becoming progressively more irritating and boring as the afternoon wears on, finally the relief at 5pm of being free again, then back home the way you came, by the time you've had dinner you're too exhausted to do anything except watch TV and then you're off to bed with your partner. The next day you have to do the whole thing all over again. It's like Groundhog Day for the masses! Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster I don't have to live like that!!!

One oh eight - dozing prostrate.
2 in the night - wake in fright.
Two oh ten - sleeping again.
Four forty four - grunt and snore.

Six thirty three - the alarm clock banshee.
Six thirty four - curses galore.
Six forty two - soap and shampoo.
Six fifty eight - dress and look great.

Seven oh five - you're glad you're alive.
Seven sixteen - toast and caffeine.
Twenty to eight - I must not be late.
Seven forty one - panic and run.

Eight oh two - stand in the queue.
Eight seventeen - stare at your screen.
Eight thirty eight - ponder your fate.
Eight fifty five - again you arrive.

Nine oh two - off to the loo.
Nine fifteen - same old routine.
Nine thirty four - attend to the chore.
Nine forty six - something to fix.

Ten oh eight - there's a lot on my plate.
Half past ten - do it again.
Ten forty four - commands to ignore.
Ten fifty three - just let me be!

Eleven oh eight - time to create.
Eleven oh nine - adapt the design.
Eleven eighteen - what do they mean?
Eleven forty nine - job's on the line.

The clock strikes noon - lunch will be soon.
Twelve fifteen - approach the canteen.
Twelve thirty eight - chat and debate.
Twelve forty nine - muck round online.

One twenty five - struggle and strive.
One thirty two - too much to do!
One forty eight - they're bound to negate.
One fifty nine - the boss is a swine.

Two o'clock - I'll just do my block!
Two seventeen - check the machine.
Two twenty five - dodge and contrive.
Two forty eight - confuse and frustrate.

Three thirty three - afternoon tea!
Three forty four - cajole and implore.
Three forty eight - run the update.
Three fifty nine - bloody deadline!

Four twenty two - what can I do?
Four thirty four - suffer the bore.
Four forty five - try to survive.
Four forty nine - I think I'll resign.

Five oh one - my work is done!
Five oh three - fly and be free!
Five twenty five - the peak hour drive.
Five fifty four - stop at the store.

Six oh three - rotate the key.
Six oh five - beer will revive.
Six seventeen - for dinner I'm keen.
Six thirty nine - open the wine.

Seven oh one - where is the fun?
Seven oh three - turn on the TV.
Eight twenty six - a movie for kicks.
Nine at night - I'm tired alright!

Ten fifteen - brush and clean.
Ten twenty four - Je t'adore!
Twenty two thirty - time to get dirty!
Eleven and ten - it's over, Amen.

Warren Mars - March 2016