Smacka McKay

Smacka McKaySmacka's Aquaponics

"Smacka" McKay and one of his aquaponics systems - photos: Warren Mars

This poem showcases certain aspects of the character of my old schoolmate and great friend Paul “Smacka” McKay, namely: his creativity, independence, wit and entrepreneurial bent. The stories are all true...

As children, when Paul and his brother were bad,
His mother would spank them instead of his dad.
But her big wooden spoons one by one went astray.
"They're under shed." thought Smacka McKay.

The Bright1 Secretary was churlish and bored,
So Paul took his business to near Myrtleford2.
Bright responded: "We'll double their offer ok?"
"We'll stick with the friends." said Smacka McKay.

He told a young girl that he met on a ride,
He could speak 20 lingos and English beside.
"Und etwas auf Deutsch?" asked the Mädchen so gay.
"Du hast schöne Augen." sagte Schmacke McKay.

He needed a bee hive for plant pollination,
And found apiarism a fine recreation,
The honey was tasty and people would pay,
"I'll start 20 more." said Smacka McKay.

An early purveyor of Air BnB,
He liked hosting travellers from over the sea.
The front room booked out, with people to stay?
"I've a flat out the back." said Smacka McKay.

He bought a small mill for slicing up trees.
"It's manual work, so I save on gym fees."
"Those slabs?" asked some workers just passing his way.
"Four hundred each." said Smacka McKay.

He hooked up a fish pond with plumbing hardware,
To a tank filled with scoria up in air.
With vegies up high and fish in the tray:
"Fancy a feed?" asked Smacka McKay.

He rented his post hole augur online.
Then bought two more when it proved a gold mine.
"They pay for one sixth of their cost in one day!
So I'm planning another." said Smacka McKay.

Warren Mars - January 2016

  1. Bright is a town close to the Victorian high country. It is currently in the Alpine Shire but at the time of this incident was the seat of the Shire of Bright, bordering the Shire of Myrtleford. Paul was organising The Great Victorian Bike Ride at the time and looking for a town to host the ride for the night. A lucrative business opportunity...
  2. Myrtleford is another town close to the Victorian high country. At the time of this incident it was the seat of the Shire of Myrtleford.