The Martian Review

The Critic

The critic in his natural environment.

Welcome to "The Martian Review", an internet outlet for my assessment and opinions of various famous artistic works. Currently these are limited to 3 categories: Literature, Music and Cinema. Poetry, graphic novels, manga and comics are all included in the Literature section (for the time being at least).

Who the hell am I to criticise other people's work? You may ask. By what right am I entitled to be a critic? Surely all people's artistic efforts are manifestations of their divine and unquestionable transcendent soul, so why don't I just butt out and respect their space? If even one person responds in sympathy to another's artistic emanation then isn't their output justified?

Bugger that! More to the point is: Why shouldn't I criticise the works of others? After all, "Opinions are like arseholes: Everyone has got one!" Secure in this incontrovertible fact I have all the justification I need for this section of my extensive website.

Anyway, most of these reviews are favourable, since I tend to review either renowned classics, or works that are personal favourites. Of course there are exceptions to this, but who doesn't like to see a critic hand out the occasional tongue-lashing and fail score.

I trust that you will find my reviews quite different from others you may read, whether in print or online. And I trust you will this difference refreshing. Vive la différence! If you don't enjoy my opinions of course you don't need to read them.

Bon appétit!

Little Green Men