The critic in his natural environment.

Welcome to "The Martian Review", an internet outlet for my assessment and opinions of various famous artistic works. Currently these are limited to 3 categories: Literature, Music and Cinema. Poetry, graphic novels, manga and comics are all included in the Literature section (for the time being at least).

Who the hell am I to criticise other people's work? You may ask. By what right am I entitled to be a critic? Surely all people's artistic efforts are manifestations of their divine and unquestionable transcendent soul, so why don't I just butt out and respect their space? If even one person responds in sympathy to another's artistic emanation then isn't their output justified?

Bugger that! More to the point is: Why shouldn't I criticise the works of others? After all, "Opinions are like arseholes: Everyone has got one!" Secure in this incontrovertible fact I have all the justification I need for this section of my extensive website.

Anyway, most of these reviews are favourable, since I tend to review either renowned classics, or works that are personal favourites. Of course there are exceptions to this, but who doesn't like to see a critic hand out the occasional tongue-lashing and fail score.

I trust that you will find my reviews quite different from others you may read, whether in print or online. And I trust you will this difference refreshing. Vive la différence! If you don't enjoy my opinions of course you don't need to read them.

Bon appétit!